Another passing four days ago...May Allah swt bless her soul.
Indeed the loss of a mom is undescribable and only a person who've been through it will understand. The way I deal with it is not to ponder upon it because seeing everything around me is actually a reminder of my mom and I do not want to be emotional. She was the light of my life, and I used to buy food back for her a least twice a week, and now whenever I look at food she used to love, I feel the emptiness. No more buying food for her. No more saying "Mom, I got a gift for you today."
Anyway, after she passed away, I've lost my muse, and therefore don't feel like writing much.
Surprisingly, I did not cry when she passed away. Indeed it's raining in my heart everyday and nobody else will ever see that. I do not wish to think and ponder and feel sad because I would have let her go anyway even if I'm given a million chances to have her stay. Loving someone too much is a risk we all take.
3 comment:
It's the same for me but mine is more bitter because I'm full of regrets of the things I didn't do for her. Whereas you did so much more for her. And there's no way to trace it all back to make changes.. It makes me really depressed.
I'm just the worst daughter.
She is happy with all of us, I'm sure, so don't think abt it. I'm trying to be nicer to abah coz I dreamt I was upset with abah yet again, and she was sad...sigh. it's challenging to be good daughter.
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